The Hideous Statement: “This is How I Am with Everyone, and Women Just Need to Get Used to It – Isn’t that Equality?”

The Harmful Impact of Dismissive Behaviour:

When someone says, “This is just how I am,” it can feel dismissive and demeaning—especially to women navigating spaces rife with both subtle and overt sexism. This attitude suggests that women should adapt to behavior that is uncomfortable, aggressive, or even traumatic. It also absolves the speaker of responsibility, ignoring the impact of their actions on others.

Consider the Stats:

In Australia, one in four women has experienced violence by an intimate partner, and one in five has been a victim of sexual violence since age 15. If you’re working with a squad of 30 women, likely seven have faced intimate partner violence, and six have experienced sexual violence. For these women, aggressive behavior, raised voices, or inappropriate comments can be more than unprofessional—they can be deeply triggering.

Respecting Women’s Spaces:

We must recognise the importance of respecting women’s spaces, especially in environments where privacy is paramount. Locker rooms, for example, are not just places to change—they are sanctuaries where women should feel safe and protected. Men must be mindful of their conduct in these spaces, ensuring they create an environment that respects women’s need for privacy and safety.

Remember:

Whatever your past experiences in sport, it doesn’t matter. You must stop, wait for an invitation, and continually check in to ensure you are welcome and appropriate—every time.

The Responsibility to Adapt, Not Women:

Saying, “This is just how I am,” ignores the lived experiences of women. It disregards the power dynamics and gender-based violence that many women carry with them. Instead of expecting women to adapt to behaviour that makes them feel unsafe, it’s our responsibility as men to adapt.

This is Not Your Space:

It’s crucial to understand that creating safe environments for women isn’t just about personal comfort but about respecting their need for safety and inclusion.

Creating Safe Spaces in Sports:

Creating a safe space for women in sports—or any environment—requires humility, empathy, and a willingness to learn. It begins by proving you’re open to understanding perspectives different from your own. Men must recognize that they don’t share the same lived experiences as women, which is critical for fostering respect and support.

Learning from Resources:

Books like Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez highlight how systemic biases affect women in every facet of life, including sports. Resources like this are essential for understanding the often-invisible challenges women face.

Challenging the Status Quo:

When faced with the excuse, “This is just how I am,” it’s crucial to challenge it. Our behaviours and attitudes are not set in stone. We must be willing to evolve, listen to marginalised voices, and create environments where everyone feels respected and safe.

A Call to Action for Equality:

This isn’t just about respecting female athletes—it’s about creating a broader societal impact. If we, as men, can’t adapt to create safe and inclusive spaces for women, we’re not just failing female athletes—we’re failing society. It’s time to challenge the status quo and be part of the solution.

Join the Conversation:

If you want to learn more or share your experiences, reach out. Together, we can drive positive change and ensure all athletes, regardless of gender, thrive in an environment that respects their dignity and humanity.